The problem is that just like the word “fair,” the word “enough” means different things to different people. And just as there will never be “enough” (and a person should watch using words such as“never” and “always” as well, but for the purposes of this point, we’ll ignore that philosophical Read more…
The ultimate purpose of managing interpersonal conflict is to grow us emotionally in self-awareness, storytelling, emotional management, and moral and ethical character. There aren’t any apps, searches, or other fancy technological shortcuts for the development of those traits in us.
The opposite of civilization is human nature. And occasionally, regrettably, human nature finds a way to break through the behavioral, cultural, social, and even religious boundaries constructed assiduously around it. We define this “breaking through,” as conflict, violence, and—at the nation-state level—war. The purpose of civilization is to hold back Read more…
Two things are happening simultaneously in our organizational cultures, our markets, and our personal lives. We have established non-curiosity (“I don’t care how it works, I just want it to work”) as the new standard for engaging with the work, the ideas that interest us (or not) and the world Read more…
There is a story (probably apocryphal) that the comedian Louis C.K., burns his jokes, his stand-up material, and his writing after successfully delivering it at the end of each year. This story reads like a corollary to the idea (popularized through the constant repeating of the alleged actions of the Read more…
Most, if not all, of the problems and conflicts in organizations, stem from cultural issues, baked in before you started working there. “This is how we do things here.” (Status quo) “Isn’t everything going great here?” (False expectations/Poor feedback loop) “Don’t say anything and it’ll just get ‘better’ on its Read more…
There is value is putting on a show for some audiences. Without the show, there is no connection. Without the show, there is no invitation to participation. Without the show, there is no permission to be vulnerable in ways that will create value and impact. Connection. Permission. Participation. Vulnerability. These Read more…
No great change happens without conflict. Not one. And every great conflict generates resistance. Every time. So, since you know both things, decisions should be comparatively easy to make about change. Right?
Fear of not connecting with another person, fear of not making an impact, fear of speaking and having no one listen, is the old resistance, dressed up in a new outfit. It’s really just another form of hiding. Attempt to connect. Fulfill your promises. Try to make an impact. Speak Read more…
This post may not apply to you, but consider it a warning: It doesn’t matter how well-meaning you are. It doesn’t matter how intentional you are. It doesn’t matter if, after saying what you said, you respond to another person by saying “Well, you have to understand, that wasn’t what Read more…