The moment when your mind opens, a new idea resonates with you at an emotional frequency you didn’t know you possessed; this is the “A-HA” moment. Dismissing an idea that doesn’t open your mind, that doesn’t resonate with you at any emotional frequency, actively rejecting the effort of the other party Read more…
When someone asks you for validation about their approach to managing a conflict, what they are really asking for is reassurance that they are doing the right thing. But since validation can only come from gatekeepers, and since gatekeepers have significantly less power in the world now than they ever Read more…
If connection is the product of the future, the problem is not going to be connecting; human beings connect naturally–and arbitrarily. If connection is the product of the future, the problem is not going to be developing the tools and technology to mediate, facilitate, develop and encourage those connections; human Read more…
The closer we get to the truth of an issue, which typically lies at the center of a universe of distortions, fabrications, and sometimes outright lies, the more difficult our conversations with all the other parties involved, become. The way to resolve this tension is not through avoiding difficult conversations Read more…
The second most compelling question after “Am I my brother’s keeper?” is “What is truth?” When we fail to do the hard work of renewing our behavior and changing our mindsets, we exchange the pursuit of the truth for the lie of preserving the status quo. Science cannot tell us Read more…
Playing poker with another party who holds the keys to nuclear weapons (literal, metaphorical, or figurative), and has given indications based on experience that they will be willing to deploy them, is a dangerous game. The stakes are high, but not for the obvious reasons of total physical, emotional, spiritual, Read more…
It’s hard to place a dollar value on human-to-human interactions in the current (and growing) connection economy, because connection is about engaging in acts of caring. And whoever put a dollar value on acts of caring? But here are a few challenge questions if that’s your attitude: Whoever put a Read more…
No matter how rationally argued, if what the presenter, lecturer, teacher, trainer, or interpreter is saying doesn’t resonate with you at an emotional level, you will reject it out of hand. And you’ll do it in microseconds of microseconds. Resonance in storytelling is something we know happens with impact at Read more…
If most negotiations are about whose version of reality will win, who decides what reality is? If many negotiations result in win-lose outcomes, are the “losers” as committed to the ultimate agreement as the “winners” are? If some negotiations happen because either party doesn’t ask the “right” questions, then what Read more…
Most negotiations don’t happen because many people lack the curiosity to ask for what else might be on offer. When you have the courage to ask the other party—and open a negotiation—you gain the power to get more. You also grow the opportunity to move beyond mere transaction to something Read more…