In a conflict, boundaries are overrun with impunity. Emotional boundaries. Ethical boundaries. Psychological boundaries. When boundaries are overrun, feelings of betrayal and hurt automatically follow because when we have our boundaries overrun, we recognize that the other party has misused and damaged our trust. The number one word to maintain Read more…
Here’s an idea: When you hear an idea that doesn’t appeal to you, doesn’t interest you, or that doesn’t resonate with you, merely say (either internally to yourself or externally to the presenting party) “That’s not for me.” Then add this other part on. “And that’s ok.” Then, either move Read more…
The thing about getting to the resolution of a conflict situation is that it is a long road, from the initiation of a conflict to a resolution of a conflict. And since it’s a long road, the bumps, the twists and the turns are what interests us as spectators. Those Read more…
Caring costs. It costs to be empathetic to your employees’ emotional needs. It costs to be mindful of the non-verbal messages you’re role modeling. It costs to be engaged all the time in the active act of actively listening. It costs to develop connections that gain you nothing in the Read more…
The question that academics should be asking (and answering) is this one: “What value do I add to a college students’ experience in a world where information is just a Google search away?” The answer to this question requires academics to admit, out loud, that research may not be the Read more…
The thing that’s on offer—the thing that’s being negotiated—is rarely the thing that we are fighting over. Our conflicts rarely get close to the core truth of the issues needing to be resolved, which is why management of a recurring conflict situation is a better posture toward conflict than one Read more…
It appears that the large conflict situations in life are the ones that matter the most. Death Divorce Job loss Personal and professional disappointments But the reality is, the small moments that appear to matter the least, are the ones that create the grit and resilience to survive the crucible Read more…
There are two kinds of feedback: constructive and negative. Constructive feedback serves to grow another human being. Constructive feedback serves to provide examples and metaphors that tell a story that can resonate with another party. Negative feedback serves to limit growth, hem in development, and ensure that the status quo Read more…
Human beings built many (if not all) of the systems we are surrounded by every day. Flawed, replaceable, myopic, visionary, human beings. Language systems. Monetary systems. Housing systems. Legal systems. Travel systems. Resource allocation systems. Organizational systems. Cultural systems. Religious systems. There’s nothing inherent in our DNA that drives us Read more…
Value is a loaded term. What do you value? Why do you value it? What does the person next to you value? Why do they value what they value? When we aren’t curious about the answers to those questions, we stymie (and in some cases, block totally) our efforts to Read more…