Playing poker with another party who holds the keys to nuclear weapons (literal, metaphorical, or figurative), and has given indications based on experience that they will be willing to deploy them, is a dangerous game. The stakes are high, but not for the obvious reasons of total physical, emotional, spiritual, Read more…
It’s hard to place a dollar value on human-to-human interactions in the current (and growing) connection economy, because connection is about engaging in acts of caring. And whoever put a dollar value on acts of caring? But here are a few challenge questions if that’s your attitude: Whoever put a Read more…
If most negotiations are about whose version of reality will win, who decides what reality is? If many negotiations result in win-lose outcomes, are the “losers” as committed to the ultimate agreement as the “winners” are? If some negotiations happen because either party doesn’t ask the “right” questions, then what Read more…
Most negotiations don’t happen because many people lack the curiosity to ask for what else might be on offer. When you have the courage to ask the other party—and open a negotiation—you gain the power to get more. You also grow the opportunity to move beyond mere transaction to something Read more…
Avoiding a conflict is sometimes a strategic move. We avoid conflicts for the obvious reasons that dealing with them makes us scared, threatens our sense of security, or we feel as though we don’t have the competency to address them in a way where the outcome will work for us. Read more…
Recognizing that you once held a belief and that now this belief is changing, is the essence of learning. And by the time you attain that essence, you won’t need the extrinsic validation from an “A” letter grade, a raise, a promotion, or any other validation that you believe extrinsically Read more…
Clearing out the cruft that surrounds your reactions and responses to conflicts in your life, can take at least a lifetime. Clearing out the cruft that surrounds your employee’s reactions and responses to conflicts in your organization can take at least 20 years. Clearing out the cruft that surrounds your Read more…
It is important to note that strategy in managing people in conflicts is still considered by many to be a talent, rather than an attainable skill. In a conflict, thinking about how to manage it effectively requires exercising all the same planning and engagement that engaging in the conflict in Read more…
There are two actions that you can do with expectations in a conflict situation: Raise them. Lower them. Raising expectations (either through pursuing management, resolution, or reconciliation of a conflict) comes with its own set of problems. When expectations are raised, they wind up being discussed. When they are discussed, Read more…
Social tools allow us to connect with other people now more than ever before through three important ways: Education. Entertainment. Edification. Finding the people who believe in your message, who desire to be educated, or who want to be entertained, is easier now more than ever. Of course, it’s easier Read more…