Change comes upon us gradually. Change comes in our organizations when we hire one person, and then two, and then more, who think differently about the mission, vision, values, and goals of the organization. Change comes when the people (or persons) at the top of a hierarchy choose to give Read more…
Silence is golden. It also allows space for people to talk. And for you to listen. To actively listen, you must make space for people to talk.
There are 200 bad drawings inside every comic book artist. Just as there are an estimated 1,000 bad words/turns of phrase inside of every writer. And there are a certain number of below quality (or poor quality) teaching or training experiences inside of every teacher and trainer. There are 1,500 Read more…
Rejection comes in a litany of flavors: “We don’t have any conflicts here.” “We deal with conflicts really well here.” “We don’t really need your services right now, but if we do, we’ll give you a call.” “[silence]. Who are you again?” “How do you say your name?” “I don’t Read more…
When was the last time you… …asked fierce questions? …emphasized uniqueness? …engaged with others? …told stories that related past victories to potential solutions to present–and future–problems? …ruthlessly eliminated hurry? …were direct, but not demeaning? …established a foundation of empathy with another person? …didn’t read from the manual, but spoke from Read more…
Here’s an idea: When you hear an idea that doesn’t appeal to you, doesn’t interest you, or that doesn’t resonate with you, merely say (either internally to yourself or externally to the presenting party) “That’s not for me.” Then add this other part on. “And that’s ok.” Then, either move Read more…
The thing that’s on offer—the thing that’s being negotiated—is rarely the thing that we are fighting over. Our conflicts rarely get close to the core truth of the issues needing to be resolved, which is why management of a recurring conflict situation is a better posture toward conflict than one Read more…
Human beings built many (if not all) of the systems we are surrounded by every day. Flawed, replaceable, myopic, visionary, human beings. Language systems. Monetary systems. Housing systems. Legal systems. Travel systems. Resource allocation systems. Organizational systems. Cultural systems. Religious systems. There’s nothing inherent in our DNA that drives us Read more…
Generating the courage to confront someone else’s bad behavior is tough. But it’s not the work. Creating a plan to confront someone’s bad behavior, rather than confronting and hoping that the act of doing so will be enough to create the change you want, is difficult. But it’s not the Read more…
When faced with a project there are three places to thrash: Early—before the project begins. Middle—as the project is proceeding. Late—as the project ends. When you (or your team) thrashes early, brainstorming becomes a way to develop new ideas. Speed and immediacy become the primary goals of early thrashing: Speed Read more…