What’s on Offer

The thing that’s on offer—the thing that’s being negotiated—is rarely the thing that we are fighting over. Our conflicts rarely get close to the core truth of the issues needing to be resolved, which is why management of a recurring conflict situation is a better posture toward conflict than one Read more…

Feedback You Let In

There are two kinds of feedback: constructive and negative. Constructive feedback serves to grow another human being. Constructive feedback serves to provide examples and metaphors that tell a story that can resonate with another party. Negative feedback serves to limit growth, hem in development, and ensure that the status quo Read more…

Obligation is a Funny Thing

Obligation is a funny thing. And not funny as “ha-ha” but funny as in “Isn’t this a modern irony?” The NFL owners voted almost unanimously this week, to move the Raiders franchise from Oakland to Las Vegas (a move fraught with its own implications in a professional sport full of Read more…

Human to Business Sales

Selling to people in businesses is hard for three important reasons: There are very few (or no) champions of your product or service offering because no one knows how good your product or service offering is inside the organization you’re selling to. There are no direct ways to influence the Read more…

I’ve Got Half a Mind To…

I’ve got half a mind to… …do something that no one thinks is possible because it hasn’t been done before. …educate people who want to listen rather than spending time chasing the attention of the masses. …take a risk and do work that matters. …engage with conflict rather than seeking Read more…

Where Do You Put the Work

If you don’t really know where you’re going, then it doesn’t matter which direction you go. Not a bad point. Here’s another one: Wherever you put your focus, that is where you will reap your greatest rewards. Many people in a conflict focus on the conflict itself (the product) rather Read more…

Great People of History

There used to be a lot of talk about great people in history. Books, philosophies, ideas, inventions, and other movements in the past were lionized by being included as part of an overall “canon” of history that people in a present age dutifully memorized, internalized, and regurgitated to the next Read more…