There is a story (probably apocryphal) that the comedian Louis C.K., burns his jokes, his stand-up material, and his writing after successfully delivering it at the end of each year. This story reads like a corollary to the idea (popularized through the constant repeating of the alleged actions of the Read more…
Most, if not all, of the problems and conflicts in organizations, stem from cultural issues, baked in before you started working there. “This is how we do things here.” (Status quo) “Isn’t everything going great here?” (False expectations/Poor feedback loop) “Don’t say anything and it’ll just get ‘better’ on its Read more…
The thing about getting to the resolution of a conflict situation is that it is a long road, from the initiation of a conflict to a resolution of a conflict. And since it’s a long road, the bumps, the twists and the turns are what interests us as spectators. Those Read more…
The question that academics should be asking (and answering) is this one: “What value do I add to a college students’ experience in a world where information is just a Google search away?” The answer to this question requires academics to admit, out loud, that research may not be the Read more…
Generating the courage to confront someone else’s bad behavior is tough. But it’s not the work. Creating a plan to confront someone’s bad behavior, rather than confronting and hoping that the act of doing so will be enough to create the change you want, is difficult. But it’s not the Read more…
The moment when your mind opens, a new idea resonates with you at an emotional frequency you didn’t know you possessed; this is the “A-HA” moment. Dismissing an idea that doesn’t open your mind, that doesn’t resonate with you at any emotional frequency, actively rejecting the effort of the other party Read more…
When someone asks you for validation about their approach to managing a conflict, what they are really asking for is reassurance that they are doing the right thing. But since validation can only come from gatekeepers, and since gatekeepers have significantly less power in the world now than they ever Read more…
If most negotiations are about whose version of reality will win, who decides what reality is? If many negotiations result in win-lose outcomes, are the “losers” as committed to the ultimate agreement as the “winners” are? If some negotiations happen because either party doesn’t ask the “right” questions, then what Read more…
Most negotiations don’t happen because many people lack the curiosity to ask for what else might be on offer. When you have the courage to ask the other party—and open a negotiation—you gain the power to get more. You also grow the opportunity to move beyond mere transaction to something Read more…
Recognizing that you once held a belief and that now this belief is changing, is the essence of learning. And by the time you attain that essence, you won’t need the extrinsic validation from an “A” letter grade, a raise, a promotion, or any other validation that you believe extrinsically Read more…