Fear of not connecting with another person, fear of not making an impact, fear of speaking and having no one listen, is the old resistance, dressed up in a new outfit. It’s really just another form of hiding. Attempt to connect. Fulfill your promises. Try to make an impact. Speak Read more…
The deepest dive you can do is into yourself. If you want to find the resistance to changes that need to be made in your organization, it starts with you. If you want to discover why other people aren’t resonating with your story, it starts with you. If you want Read more…
The equation that drives change is simple: Dissatisfaction times Vision times First Steps must be greater than the Resistance to the impact of all three combined or else change efforts falter. There are plenty of dissatisfied people in your workplace, your work group, or even just your organization. There are Read more…
The thing about getting to the resolution of a conflict situation is that it is a long road, from the initiation of a conflict to a resolution of a conflict. And since it’s a long road, the bumps, the twists and the turns are what interests us as spectators. Those Read more…
When faced with a project there are three places to thrash: Early—before the project begins. Middle—as the project is proceeding. Late—as the project ends. When you (or your team) thrashes early, brainstorming becomes a way to develop new ideas. Speed and immediacy become the primary goals of early thrashing: Speed Read more…
The moment when your mind opens, a new idea resonates with you at an emotional frequency you didn’t know you possessed; this is the “A-HA” moment. Dismissing an idea that doesn’t open your mind, that doesn’t resonate with you at any emotional frequency, actively rejecting the effort of the other party Read more…
When someone asks you for validation about their approach to managing a conflict, what they are really asking for is reassurance that they are doing the right thing. But since validation can only come from gatekeepers, and since gatekeepers have significantly less power in the world now than they ever Read more…
The issue is not the questions we ask. The issue is knowing the right questions to ask, at the right time, and about the right things. If you don’t know what the right questions are to ask because you don’t understand what’s happening in a conflict situation, then just blindly Read more…
The hard questions aren’t ones that you just need to think about harder, to get to a binary answer. Binary answers. “What the other party wants to hear” answers. “Feel good” answers. Wrong answers. Right answers. The compelling issue is not that the questions are hard, or that they are Read more…
If the process of resolving a conflict doesn’t interest you too much… If you just want to “be done with it’ already… If you “just don’t care how it stops” just that it’s over… If you have “no dog in this fight”… If you are “just a disinterested observer”… Then Read more…