If you don’t really know where you’re going, then it doesn’t matter which direction you go.

Not a bad point.

Here’s another one: Wherever you put your focus, that is where you will reap your greatest rewards.

Many people in a conflict focus on the conflict itself (the product) rather than the process that they took to get there in the first place. Focusing on the product seems to be the only way to resolve the issue. And besides, if we focused on the process, we may run out of time to focus on the product.

This is why negotiations (now we’re talking where the stakes are high and the process is more important 9or just as important) as the outcome) become time consuming. Time is the most valuable resource we have, and it’s the one resource that is totally and completely unsustainable. Expert negotiators, diplomats, and politicians know this fact more intimately than your neighbor does, than your kids do, or than even your co-workers do.

Time is on your side and it isn’t, but if you put your focus on regretting the time that it takes to resolve a conflict, rather than advancing and leveraging the time that it takes to get to a resolution, your focus will bear fruit.

When we focus on the conflict, the conflict grows larger and larger, dominating our scope of attention and awareness, seeming to develop a life all of its own. When we focus on the process, the conflict recedes and suddenly our focus shifts to the time that all of this resolution is taking.

But, if you don’t know where you’re going (or where your focus should be), then it doesn’t really matter in which direction you go (toward resolution or toward delay).

The choice is yours, in the same way, that it was Alice’s.



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